Living A Legacy: To Brittany Maynard and the World

The first time I saw this story was on this cover on my way to the checkout at the grocery store. Normally I avoid all eye-contact with the magazines, at all cost, leading to the checkout. But, the headline on People magazine caught my eye, and I thought: "Is this real? Why? Does she understand who she is? Has our would reached this point?" I was reminded of the story for the first time since, when I saw another article today online. Wanting to know if I truly understood the story I watched the interviews, and read the articles surrounding Brittany Maynard's decision.

The quick summary if you are not aware of the story is that Brittany Maynard, now age 29, was diagnosed with one of the most aggressive forms of brain cancer, at a stage 4. She was given 6 months to live, and with her husband, moved to Oregon in order to take advantage of the "Death with Dignity" Act. Essentially, this would allow her, a terminally ill individual, to obtain and use a drug that would end her life, when she is ready. If you want to know more, I will leave that to you to research.

Personally, I have a very hard time with this story. I do not know or understand all of the physical, mental, and emotional pain that comes with living with a given amount of time, and fighting cancer. However, this woman does here, addressing the story in a far more personal way--she too, like many others around the world, walks the hard road of an ending life--But instead chooses to live it.
Take the time to read it here :  Dear Brittany

However, I still would like to address Brittany's story, and more importantly, the topic of ending your own life. When trying to be sure that I knew the whole story before writing this afternoon, I watched an interview where Brittany spoke of the beauty of this world and her love for the outdoors. The latest headlines have been proclaiming that she checked off her last bucket-list item of seeing the Grand Canyon.That is wonderful that she made things happen, and decided to do the things that mattered most to her. I love that she values everything around us.

But, this beautiful earth was created for you, and created for me, as a place for us to learn, grow, and go through trials and struggles of every kind that would allow us and help us to become greater people than we could ever be otherwise. 

I don't stand behind, or support those who have written scathing articles and comments about the decision. I would hope their hearts are in the right place, because their words are not always. But, I do stand as one who does not, nor will ever, support a person in ending their life. Instead I support the fight for each of God's children to continue to live, especially when they feel they can't go any further, because that is when legacies begin, and our world begins to undergo miraculous change--change that could have only happened through the means of a divine, unique, son or daughter of God. 

Many of us know those who have ended their lives early. Those who judge these individuals do not understand the damage those judgments cause, and the pain that is felt by the friends and families who are missing lived ones. I would hope the world would support these families in their struggle and pain, and support those who continue to live though life may feel dark, and the trials never-ending.

The above video was recently released by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, talking about depression and suicide (though this video is not addressing medically-assisted suicide, and though many disagree with me, suicide--intentionally killing oneself--is exactly what Dying with Dignity, and sadly, Brittany is planning on doing.)

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and like you, a beloved child of our Heavenly Father, I know that He would never want us to deprive ourselves and our souls of the sacred experiences found within the trials of life. Those same experiences that make people around the world ask if they should simply be done. This life is a journey, that will lead us to greater things, and shape us into greater people.

This medical-assisted suicide has been called "Dying with Dignity." To that I say, how sad. How devastating. How heartbreaking. We have been called to this earth at specific times, as specific people, to be part of something incredible. Being here is a sacred opportunity and responsibility. Why, no matter how hard it gets, would we deny ourselves this right? I was once in a church lesson, and we were discussing trials and hard experiences. One of the women there, when speaking of a specific, personal, trial, stated that though it was so hard, there were experiences within that trial that had she not endured it, she would have "sorely missed." Those words have stayed with me since.

I know that each soul is precious to our Heavenly Father. He knows all we can become. He knows how much we can handle--always providing a way to accomplish what is set before us. Often by allowing difficult and unfathomable trials to enter our lives, he is simply giving us the means and the environment to become that much greater--greater than whatever the trial may be. And if that trial--like Stage 4 brain cancer ends up removing a person from this world, by living it out the best they could, they will leave a legacy where they once stood. I believe that this is not the end, and in that light, we must live our lives to the fullest, until we are called, by our heavenly Father, to the next step.

The world needs to remember the value of life--With all my Heart,

Tayler


For more on what I believe: mormon.org

25 Things on my Mind

It is coming quickly! 25 days, and I will be reporting to the MTC, and starting my adventure as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. (Here's the countdown :) )

It really doesn't quite sink in at times....



With that said, my brain is all over the place at some points, so here are the....

25 Things On My Mind:
1. This really can't be happening--I've dreamt of this moment for such a long time. The Lord's timing is always in our best interest.
2. I am going to miss my family A LOT. Being the oldest, it's like going off to Kindergarten all by myself, all over again! However, I don't need to worry about my family, because The Lord is aware, and He can do much more for them, than I could ever even attempt. He knows what they need far better than I do.
3. North Carolina. That's the South, Right? There's no way I'll pick up the accent........y'all??
4. Oh humidity. There's Cold, and then there's wet-cold. But if you're from Montana, this can't be bad. (I really have no clue.)
5. I may actually be grateful that I have had a (crazy) roommate, because I'm about to have some full-time sisters. :)
6.  8 shirts X 8 skirts = 64 combos, in theory. :)
7. Days may be long, but months are going to fly!
8. I am not a super savvy with my scriptures--I can't quote much off the top of my head..... Thank goodness we devote so much time to study in the field.
9. I love Preach My Gospel :)
10.  I am SO excited to go to the temple--Covenants (Sacred promises between ourselves and God)are the most powerful blessings, and there is no place like the temple.
11. I can't wait for the MTC! It's a once-in-a-lifetime deal.
12. This whole mission is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
13. What happens when I get back? BYU will still be there, thank goodness!! :)
14. I am SO grateful for two incredible home-wards (church congregations).
15. I really like letters--love letters, I mean, LOVE letters......I mean I guess I love, love-letters too......just give me 18 months. :)
16. I'm packing lipstick--not to wear, but to seal my family letters with a kiss;)
17. I think I'm going to make a midnight-snack in a moment. That privilege will be removed temporarily, in the near future....
18. I will be one of 88,000, full-time missionaries. Still, there are specific people, that each one will touch. How could this not be the Lord's work?

19.      
20.        Then there are many other things that fill my mind, but the last few are
21.              all quieted by this: He Knows Me.
22.
23.        I haven't sat down to blog about what it was like (though I will before I leave)
24.          to open my call, and the following 24 hours, but right know I will say that
25.          I have a testimony that He knows us personally--He created us, and plans we
                   can't even comprehend. We MUST trust. If that is one thing I have learned
                    during this mission-process, it is to trust in His timing, His wisdom,
                    His word, and the personal, sacred covenants we make with Him, 
                     throughout our lives.  He lives, He is the Christ, and He loves you. 

Soon to be, 

Sister Knudsen

Getting Ready: Grace

I am at 27 days till I leave for my mission, and my little brother just turned 18 today. Life is CRAZY. As I get closer to leaving though, and the older I get in general, the more I often feel like I will never live up to the expectations and dreams my Heavenly Father has in store for me; I feel like my potential is so far away. I came across this BYU Devotional. (I really do miss BYU, and am excited to go back after completing my mission. But, right now, I have a very important chapter, right in front of me. )  Last semester, a friend lent me a copy of "The Continuous Atonement" by Brad Wicox. If you have a chance to get a hold of it, it is an incredible book. I can't really say anything but that it is incredible. 

Some of the things talked about in this devotional are found in his book, but if you need to refocus your sights, and decide the direction you want for today, this is more than worth your time. (it is long, so you may have to break it up into ten to fifteen minute blocks, but it's worth it. :) )

His Grace is Sufficient    (here's the Link)

Have a wonderful Thursday!
Warning: it may make you want to start taking piano lessons. ;)

Tayler

I Tackled a Taco Today.

After some crazy traveling I made it in time to have my wisdom teeth taken out on Friday afternoon. Well, it was a tad painful, but I am proud to say that I was able to consume a full-size soft-taco between the two sessions of conference. :) I got thinking about this a little, how perspective is so very different for each person, and throughout out lives. I know I have o be careful to keep others perspectives in mind. Normally, I would feel very silly proclaiming that I was able to eat an entire taco, but when you have your wisdom teeth out, and a very swollen face, it is a feat to be proud of. :)

Also, though on painkillers, I was able to (barely) stay awake for General Conference, as time and again the speakers said words that my heart needed to hear. I'm pretty exhausted so I'm going to keep it short, but as the Mormon tabernacle choir sang "Count Your Blessings," I thought of how many things we can be grateful for. We have living prophets to guide and teach us, families to be part of, and the opportunity to come to this earth and experience all of the joys, pains, and blessings of this life. But above all, we have temples, where we can go to make sacred covenants with our Heavenly Father, to help us return home to him.

Have a wonderful Sunday evening,

Tayler

He is in the Details

So, as usual, it has been a while since I have put something up on the blog, but how could I not after such an amazing day of general conference! I hope you had a chance to catch both sessions today, but if not, you can watch and read them here : lds.org

There were amazing talks today about family, civility towards those we may not agree with, spiritual light, the enabling power of the atonement, gaining spiritual confidence, and my favorite, Christlike love. Though my post tonight isn't about conference exactly, I couldn't not mention some of the amazing things that were spoken about today.

But now, for my simple story. :) I flew out to Kansas City yesterday to see family, and I am just going to say that it was kind of a very long day. No, it was a LONG day, but it was good too. But let me take you to about 2pm yesterday. To set the scene, I'm on my second flight of the day, on a plane that had already been delayed twice because the aircraft was at another airport, and then delayed again, after we all were already boarded, due to a maintenance problem. But still, we were flying, finally, the young guy next to me was a sweetheart on leave from the military, going to surprise his wife and parents, and I was on the final stretch of getting out to KC. I have flown several times before, and it really was never that nerve-racking, and thought I am really claustrophobic, planes never get to me. Well, yesterday, it got to me. :) I found myself 33, 000 feet above the ground, in an airplane full of stale air, and we were hitting some impressive turbulence. I caught myself holding my breath, feeling like I was going to heave, though there was nothing even in my stomach, I began (internally) panicking, and feeling like I was about to suffocate in that aircraft--I promise I'm not just being dramatic. I kept praying in my heart that I would be able to just stay calm--I had another hour left, it had already been a crazy two days, and the day wasn't even at it's climax. I didn't have the slightest clue of what to do except keep breathing and tell myself we were almost there.

 Then what I truly believe was a tender mercy, began with the crew going down the aisle asking what people wanted to drink. I don't drink coffee, but I would usually associate it with the morning, and we were on a flight at 3 in the afternoon. But, for some reason or another it was as if half the plane was craving coffee at that moment.  I watched as the flight attendants made more and more, as people kept requesting coffee. I have never been on a flight where that has occurred, or even been able to smell coffee on the plane, but before I knew it that was all you could smell: coffee. I closed my eyes, and I was no longer in the stale air of a jet cruising at 33,000 feet. I could breathe again, the walls quit coming in on me, the nausea was gone, and my heart quit racing.

 I know many believe that life is full of coincidences, but I don't. Rather, I have a testimony and know that our Heavenly Father is in the very details of our lives, and knows each of us personally and more deeply than we know ourselves. He could have left me there, feeling sick, nauseous, claustrophobic, tired, stressed and overwhelmed--after all, all I had was an hour left and I would have been on the ground and onto the next part of the adventure. But He knew my heart was full of disappointment, my head was spinning, my stomach churning, everything that had happened that day, and everything else that I still needed to do. And as I sat there pleading and praying in my heart for the strength to just make it, and I had no idea what to do, he sent such a tender mercy. He knew exactly what I needed, even though I saw no solution.

At the close of the second meeting of general conference today, the following words came into my mind: "Be still, and know that I am God."


Do we truly know that? Do we completely grasp how much he cares for us? How much our heavenly Parents care for us?

I think that the love they have for us is something we will never be able to fully grasp while in this life. But it is something we can lean on, and trust in.
You will always be loved. 

Well, I am excited and look forward to another amazing day of general conference tomorrow. I hope you've had a wonderful day today, and thanks for taking a minute to read this. :)

Lots of love,

Tayler