Living A Legacy: To Brittany Maynard and the World

The first time I saw this story was on this cover on my way to the checkout at the grocery store. Normally I avoid all eye-contact with the magazines, at all cost, leading to the checkout. But, the headline on People magazine caught my eye, and I thought: "Is this real? Why? Does she understand who she is? Has our would reached this point?" I was reminded of the story for the first time since, when I saw another article today online. Wanting to know if I truly understood the story I watched the interviews, and read the articles surrounding Brittany Maynard's decision.

The quick summary if you are not aware of the story is that Brittany Maynard, now age 29, was diagnosed with one of the most aggressive forms of brain cancer, at a stage 4. She was given 6 months to live, and with her husband, moved to Oregon in order to take advantage of the "Death with Dignity" Act. Essentially, this would allow her, a terminally ill individual, to obtain and use a drug that would end her life, when she is ready. If you want to know more, I will leave that to you to research.

Personally, I have a very hard time with this story. I do not know or understand all of the physical, mental, and emotional pain that comes with living with a given amount of time, and fighting cancer. However, this woman does here, addressing the story in a far more personal way--she too, like many others around the world, walks the hard road of an ending life--But instead chooses to live it.
Take the time to read it here :  Dear Brittany

However, I still would like to address Brittany's story, and more importantly, the topic of ending your own life. When trying to be sure that I knew the whole story before writing this afternoon, I watched an interview where Brittany spoke of the beauty of this world and her love for the outdoors. The latest headlines have been proclaiming that she checked off her last bucket-list item of seeing the Grand Canyon.That is wonderful that she made things happen, and decided to do the things that mattered most to her. I love that she values everything around us.

But, this beautiful earth was created for you, and created for me, as a place for us to learn, grow, and go through trials and struggles of every kind that would allow us and help us to become greater people than we could ever be otherwise. 

I don't stand behind, or support those who have written scathing articles and comments about the decision. I would hope their hearts are in the right place, because their words are not always. But, I do stand as one who does not, nor will ever, support a person in ending their life. Instead I support the fight for each of God's children to continue to live, especially when they feel they can't go any further, because that is when legacies begin, and our world begins to undergo miraculous change--change that could have only happened through the means of a divine, unique, son or daughter of God. 

Many of us know those who have ended their lives early. Those who judge these individuals do not understand the damage those judgments cause, and the pain that is felt by the friends and families who are missing lived ones. I would hope the world would support these families in their struggle and pain, and support those who continue to live though life may feel dark, and the trials never-ending.

The above video was recently released by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, talking about depression and suicide (though this video is not addressing medically-assisted suicide, and though many disagree with me, suicide--intentionally killing oneself--is exactly what Dying with Dignity, and sadly, Brittany is planning on doing.)

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and like you, a beloved child of our Heavenly Father, I know that He would never want us to deprive ourselves and our souls of the sacred experiences found within the trials of life. Those same experiences that make people around the world ask if they should simply be done. This life is a journey, that will lead us to greater things, and shape us into greater people.

This medical-assisted suicide has been called "Dying with Dignity." To that I say, how sad. How devastating. How heartbreaking. We have been called to this earth at specific times, as specific people, to be part of something incredible. Being here is a sacred opportunity and responsibility. Why, no matter how hard it gets, would we deny ourselves this right? I was once in a church lesson, and we were discussing trials and hard experiences. One of the women there, when speaking of a specific, personal, trial, stated that though it was so hard, there were experiences within that trial that had she not endured it, she would have "sorely missed." Those words have stayed with me since.

I know that each soul is precious to our Heavenly Father. He knows all we can become. He knows how much we can handle--always providing a way to accomplish what is set before us. Often by allowing difficult and unfathomable trials to enter our lives, he is simply giving us the means and the environment to become that much greater--greater than whatever the trial may be. And if that trial--like Stage 4 brain cancer ends up removing a person from this world, by living it out the best they could, they will leave a legacy where they once stood. I believe that this is not the end, and in that light, we must live our lives to the fullest, until we are called, by our heavenly Father, to the next step.

The world needs to remember the value of life--With all my Heart,

Tayler


For more on what I believe: mormon.org

25 Things on my Mind

It is coming quickly! 25 days, and I will be reporting to the MTC, and starting my adventure as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. (Here's the countdown :) )

It really doesn't quite sink in at times....



With that said, my brain is all over the place at some points, so here are the....

25 Things On My Mind:
1. This really can't be happening--I've dreamt of this moment for such a long time. The Lord's timing is always in our best interest.
2. I am going to miss my family A LOT. Being the oldest, it's like going off to Kindergarten all by myself, all over again! However, I don't need to worry about my family, because The Lord is aware, and He can do much more for them, than I could ever even attempt. He knows what they need far better than I do.
3. North Carolina. That's the South, Right? There's no way I'll pick up the accent........y'all??
4. Oh humidity. There's Cold, and then there's wet-cold. But if you're from Montana, this can't be bad. (I really have no clue.)
5. I may actually be grateful that I have had a (crazy) roommate, because I'm about to have some full-time sisters. :)
6.  8 shirts X 8 skirts = 64 combos, in theory. :)
7. Days may be long, but months are going to fly!
8. I am not a super savvy with my scriptures--I can't quote much off the top of my head..... Thank goodness we devote so much time to study in the field.
9. I love Preach My Gospel :)
10.  I am SO excited to go to the temple--Covenants (Sacred promises between ourselves and God)are the most powerful blessings, and there is no place like the temple.
11. I can't wait for the MTC! It's a once-in-a-lifetime deal.
12. This whole mission is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
13. What happens when I get back? BYU will still be there, thank goodness!! :)
14. I am SO grateful for two incredible home-wards (church congregations).
15. I really like letters--love letters, I mean, LOVE letters......I mean I guess I love, love-letters too......just give me 18 months. :)
16. I'm packing lipstick--not to wear, but to seal my family letters with a kiss;)
17. I think I'm going to make a midnight-snack in a moment. That privilege will be removed temporarily, in the near future....
18. I will be one of 88,000, full-time missionaries. Still, there are specific people, that each one will touch. How could this not be the Lord's work?

19.      
20.        Then there are many other things that fill my mind, but the last few are
21.              all quieted by this: He Knows Me.
22.
23.        I haven't sat down to blog about what it was like (though I will before I leave)
24.          to open my call, and the following 24 hours, but right know I will say that
25.          I have a testimony that He knows us personally--He created us, and plans we
                   can't even comprehend. We MUST trust. If that is one thing I have learned
                    during this mission-process, it is to trust in His timing, His wisdom,
                    His word, and the personal, sacred covenants we make with Him, 
                     throughout our lives.  He lives, He is the Christ, and He loves you. 

Soon to be, 

Sister Knudsen

Getting Ready: Grace

I am at 27 days till I leave for my mission, and my little brother just turned 18 today. Life is CRAZY. As I get closer to leaving though, and the older I get in general, the more I often feel like I will never live up to the expectations and dreams my Heavenly Father has in store for me; I feel like my potential is so far away. I came across this BYU Devotional. (I really do miss BYU, and am excited to go back after completing my mission. But, right now, I have a very important chapter, right in front of me. )  Last semester, a friend lent me a copy of "The Continuous Atonement" by Brad Wicox. If you have a chance to get a hold of it, it is an incredible book. I can't really say anything but that it is incredible. 

Some of the things talked about in this devotional are found in his book, but if you need to refocus your sights, and decide the direction you want for today, this is more than worth your time. (it is long, so you may have to break it up into ten to fifteen minute blocks, but it's worth it. :) )

His Grace is Sufficient    (here's the Link)

Have a wonderful Thursday!
Warning: it may make you want to start taking piano lessons. ;)

Tayler

I Tackled a Taco Today.

After some crazy traveling I made it in time to have my wisdom teeth taken out on Friday afternoon. Well, it was a tad painful, but I am proud to say that I was able to consume a full-size soft-taco between the two sessions of conference. :) I got thinking about this a little, how perspective is so very different for each person, and throughout out lives. I know I have o be careful to keep others perspectives in mind. Normally, I would feel very silly proclaiming that I was able to eat an entire taco, but when you have your wisdom teeth out, and a very swollen face, it is a feat to be proud of. :)

Also, though on painkillers, I was able to (barely) stay awake for General Conference, as time and again the speakers said words that my heart needed to hear. I'm pretty exhausted so I'm going to keep it short, but as the Mormon tabernacle choir sang "Count Your Blessings," I thought of how many things we can be grateful for. We have living prophets to guide and teach us, families to be part of, and the opportunity to come to this earth and experience all of the joys, pains, and blessings of this life. But above all, we have temples, where we can go to make sacred covenants with our Heavenly Father, to help us return home to him.

Have a wonderful Sunday evening,

Tayler

He is in the Details

So, as usual, it has been a while since I have put something up on the blog, but how could I not after such an amazing day of general conference! I hope you had a chance to catch both sessions today, but if not, you can watch and read them here : lds.org

There were amazing talks today about family, civility towards those we may not agree with, spiritual light, the enabling power of the atonement, gaining spiritual confidence, and my favorite, Christlike love. Though my post tonight isn't about conference exactly, I couldn't not mention some of the amazing things that were spoken about today.

But now, for my simple story. :) I flew out to Kansas City yesterday to see family, and I am just going to say that it was kind of a very long day. No, it was a LONG day, but it was good too. But let me take you to about 2pm yesterday. To set the scene, I'm on my second flight of the day, on a plane that had already been delayed twice because the aircraft was at another airport, and then delayed again, after we all were already boarded, due to a maintenance problem. But still, we were flying, finally, the young guy next to me was a sweetheart on leave from the military, going to surprise his wife and parents, and I was on the final stretch of getting out to KC. I have flown several times before, and it really was never that nerve-racking, and thought I am really claustrophobic, planes never get to me. Well, yesterday, it got to me. :) I found myself 33, 000 feet above the ground, in an airplane full of stale air, and we were hitting some impressive turbulence. I caught myself holding my breath, feeling like I was going to heave, though there was nothing even in my stomach, I began (internally) panicking, and feeling like I was about to suffocate in that aircraft--I promise I'm not just being dramatic. I kept praying in my heart that I would be able to just stay calm--I had another hour left, it had already been a crazy two days, and the day wasn't even at it's climax. I didn't have the slightest clue of what to do except keep breathing and tell myself we were almost there.

 Then what I truly believe was a tender mercy, began with the crew going down the aisle asking what people wanted to drink. I don't drink coffee, but I would usually associate it with the morning, and we were on a flight at 3 in the afternoon. But, for some reason or another it was as if half the plane was craving coffee at that moment.  I watched as the flight attendants made more and more, as people kept requesting coffee. I have never been on a flight where that has occurred, or even been able to smell coffee on the plane, but before I knew it that was all you could smell: coffee. I closed my eyes, and I was no longer in the stale air of a jet cruising at 33,000 feet. I could breathe again, the walls quit coming in on me, the nausea was gone, and my heart quit racing.

 I know many believe that life is full of coincidences, but I don't. Rather, I have a testimony and know that our Heavenly Father is in the very details of our lives, and knows each of us personally and more deeply than we know ourselves. He could have left me there, feeling sick, nauseous, claustrophobic, tired, stressed and overwhelmed--after all, all I had was an hour left and I would have been on the ground and onto the next part of the adventure. But He knew my heart was full of disappointment, my head was spinning, my stomach churning, everything that had happened that day, and everything else that I still needed to do. And as I sat there pleading and praying in my heart for the strength to just make it, and I had no idea what to do, he sent such a tender mercy. He knew exactly what I needed, even though I saw no solution.

At the close of the second meeting of general conference today, the following words came into my mind: "Be still, and know that I am God."


Do we truly know that? Do we completely grasp how much he cares for us? How much our heavenly Parents care for us?

I think that the love they have for us is something we will never be able to fully grasp while in this life. But it is something we can lean on, and trust in.
You will always be loved. 

Well, I am excited and look forward to another amazing day of general conference tomorrow. I hope you've had a wonderful day today, and thanks for taking a minute to read this. :)

Lots of love,

Tayler

Daughter of a King

My heart is very full today. I came home a week ago from spending a week with my best friend, but as all trips do, it had to come to a close. While I was there, we were lucky enough to spend Sunday together. That morning I looked for a talk that I could play while I was getting ready. I found the talk from 2011: The Eternal Blessings of Marriage, by Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  ( I promise I'm not dropping hints....I have another chapter that is about to open first) Elder Scott's voice echoed in the bathroom, as I stood curling my hair at the vanity. I almost couldn't hold back a few tears as he said words that I will forever hold in my heart:

"I know what it is to love a daughter of Father in Heaven who with grace and devotion lived the full feminine splendor of her righteous womanhood."

I can't think of anything more beautiful: Living with grace and devotion the full feminine splendor of righteous womanhood. After pondering it a while, I thought of how different that would look at different stages of life, yet how it is all rooted in being daughters of our heavenly Father. There is no greater peace than that which comes with knowing you are His and he loves you. There is no greater joy than that which comes when you decide to follow him, and put your faith and trust in Him and His plan for you. He wants each of His daughters to live as Sister Scott did: with grace and devotion, the full feminine splendor of righteous womanhood. I hope it is safe to say that there are few forces greater than the faith and love of a righteous daughter of our heavenly Father. A daughter of the King: A princess.

My hope and prayer is that one day, one of Father in Heaven's righteous and worthy sons will be able to say that he too knows what it is to love a daughter of God like that--that I have lived, with grace and devotion, the full feminine splendor of my righteous womanhood.

I know that our heavenly Father has a plan for each and every one of us--He is in the very details of our lives. He knows us. He loves us. He sees our potential. Great things await you--you are needed on the earth at this time, to fulfill callings that only you can fill. Remember, you are a son or daughter of the King.

As always, with lots of Love,

Tayler



The Eternal Blessings of Marriage: Richard G, Scott

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/the-eternal-blessings-of-marriage?lang=eng#watch=video

Stop to Smell the Clover

Goodmorning! I've been waiting and waiting for a time when I would have an awesome topic, and a good hour or two to get it through my fingers and onto the blog.........but here I am about two and a half months latter, and I have come to the conclusion if I don't just take this moment (set a timer for 20 minutes) and write, I will never get ANYTHING up!

Well, I guess for anyone reading this, I should probably give you a quick sum-up of my life over the past while. I packed up and went home for the summer, I have spent time with family, have taken--and will be taking a trip or two back to Utah, and before I know it, I will be back for the fall! People talk about having a summer romance, and I have never understood that until this summer--I have seriously fallen in love with the sunshine, the bright sunrises, seeing Mr. Mendelsohn (refresher: that's my cat--don't get TOO excited. ;) ) every day, and sleeping in a double bed--my own bed. Yep, I'm in love with summer. :)

I have to say though that coming home after living away for about 8 months is interesting all in itself. You've moved out.....but your back......but not for long? It's a pretty crazy deal.
But enough about that---I miss Mayberry. (If you don't know what I am talking about, google "Andy Griffith" or "Mayberry" and you'll figure it out pretty quick.)

The whole idea is that simple life (the 50's about) and enjoying all of the simple pleasures--family dinner, sitting on the porch, talking, and being truly happy.

It got me thinking about how my absolute-favorite moments are never perfectly planned, elaborate, or by the world's standard are they ever picture-perfect. I recently had the chance to spend a week with one of my best friends. We did a ton of stuff while I was out there, but my favorite moments were when it was simple. I loved going out country dancing, but dancing in the living room was just as--if not more--fun. And looking back on the whole trip, (let me preface it with the fact that I was spoiled and stayed at his sister's house) I have to say that one of my favorite days was the simplest. It wasn't when he was in a suit, and I was in a dress, for church, in fact, it was when I overslept when we were supposed to go running. :) Oh yes, after many late nights, I slept through my alarm, so he patiently waited for me as I threw on yoga pants, a t-shirt, tennis shoes, and my glasses. (Didn't even take the retainers out...) As I came tearing up the stairs, it caught me off guard to find a gentleman standing in the kitchen in a t-shirt, shorts, tennis shoes (obviously because we were going to go running....)and glasses, looking a little like he had just gotten out of bed as well. :)  I hope I don't embarrass him, but when I came up, horrified that I had totally overslept, I'm sure I turned to him and said a rather frazzled "goodmorning." He looked at me with this slightly mischievous grin, and said "I've got something for you."  Then he handed me a 3-leaf clover. I kind of chuckled, said thank you, and set it on the counter--figuratively brushing it to the side We headed out to go running, ( he's practically an Olympian......so the poor guy doesn't exactly get the greatest workout if he goes with me) and found our way back to the house I was staying at. After washing my face and ditching the retainers, I came back up to the kitchen to find that breakfast was set out, and he was ready to dig in. As we sat eating and talking( not at the same time though..... :) ) I couldn't help but think how simply wonderful it was--we were just in t-shirts, shorts, and both still sporting our glasses. If I remember correctly, he had yet to shave, and I had yet to even shower. Honestly, it was simply real.

We had to get on with our day so he headed home to grab a shower, and I put a few things away. Before I left the kitchen, I saw the clover on the counter, smiled, and then tossed it in the trash.

The trip was wonderful, but as many things do, it had to come to a close.
Let's fast forward to me driving back home a few days later. Hours in the car give you a lot of time to think. I don't know where it came from but somewhere between BYU and home, I remembered that clover. WHAT WAS I THINKING!! Why on earth did I just throw it away? As I drove I began to wonder, "what happened?" When did I become too formal, too proper, or maybe even too old to enjoy the little things?  Had I to relive it, I would have slowed down, said a much warmer "good morning", and let myself smile and thank him genuinely. You would probably find a clover pressed between the July 2nd and 3rd pages of my journal, because it was a moment in my life, and a memory I want to hold onto.

I'm happy to say that I'm relearning to slow down and enjoy the little things again. We're commanded to be as little children, and I believe that links directly to the small and simple things. I know they say to smell the roses, but don't forget to notice the clover too. ;)

Wishing you a wonderful summer day,

Tayler
 P. S. One of my favorites--my dreams in a song, reminding me how life is just simply beautiful :)

Are You a Mom?--It is a Beautiful Thing

My mind is racing and full of so many things that I could say--being that it's mothers day. I happened to check my facebook, and to my surprise and delight, I found this photo in a message a good family friend had just sent:

I remember when this was taken--probably close to a year ago. I had gotten off work, and mom and Soph with the umbrellas, hot chocolate and sweat pants, were just coming back from a long walk. The family friend happened to walk up behind us and have us turn around and snap a picture. I am so glad she did. :) 

When I look at this picture(especially with it being mothers day) I am just amazed at how blessed I am to have the mom I do. Truly, I cannot even tell you what it is like having Wonder Woman for your mom!

So, as I tried to decide how on earth I would cover such a truly divine topic--motherhood--I thought I would turn to a piece a wrote almost exactly a year ago. 

Chapters

            “Are you a mom?” a tiny voice asked me quizzically as I stood on the elementary school playground. Her beautiful round face was dark, but rosy as the kickball her two tiny arms attempted to wrap themselves around—the kind of ball that used to leave an imprint of the cross-hash grip on your skin if you ever got hit—the kind of ball I was terrified of when I was her size. It seemed some days that it never even was; it was hard to believe that at some point in time we all used to see the world from 3 feet above the blacktop. But now, over two and a half feet higher, and nine or ten years from that time, I stood on the playground with a little girl sizing me up, and trying to determine what I was exactly. Amidst the laughter and squeals that filled the air, I looked down at her, and replied, “No, I’m here to see my sister—she’s over there.” “Who’s your sister?” as if my explanation wasn’t enough. “I’m Sophie’s sister.” I pointed to the basketball court, and at my sister, who was playing lightning with some of her classmates. She really is good at basketball, and far better than I am, especially at her age. I had been deathly shy. It’s funny how you can have the same parents and end up with a rough-and-tumble blonde, and a tall brunette who would rather be taking photos and writing cook books. We hardly even look like sisters, but when we sing, it is the only time that you can’t tell us apart. I barely sound older, and looking at us, I am much taller, though the margin is slowly diminishing. We all know I’ll come home one day, and she will have passed me up, and I will officially be the shortest sibling. And someday, I’ll have to try to convince by kids that I really was the tallest, until their Uncle Ben passed me up when I was eighteen and a half, and he was fourteen. How we all just seem to grow up is remarkable if you step back and attempt to grasp it.  

            The little girl looked suspiciously at the court, her brow furrowed, then looked back at me. “You mean Sophia?” She almost sounded disgusted that I couldn’t say her name “right.”  It took me a moment to register her response—you forget that the crazy, spunky blonde at home, who goes by Sophie, Soph, Sopha, and Sopha-doph, is know to the rest of the world as little miss Sophia Kathryn. You also forget that her world is far smaller, and everything in it is far bigger than any of us realize. Somehow we seem to forget we were ever even in those shoes—of not knowing who we even are.

            I think of my future: We had a choir concert last night, and the conductor read off our note cards that had our plans after high school. My card included my college, major, and then at the end, after the degree is earned, and other chapters are unfolding, I added that I am going to be a mom, and write cookbooks. A friend came up to me afterwards and asked if I had actually put that down—thinking the director had randomly added it. I reassured her that they were my own words. The future is a funny thing. It strikes me as sad, that someone can’t honestly say they want to be a mom—plan on being a mom someday. When I think of that playground and watching my sister among all of those other little worlds, I wonder what I'll do when I have tiny worlds that make up my own—and when I am their world at the beginning of their journey on this earth. At that point you realize that all you can truly do is love them—unconditionally, and forever. Then you realize that someday you have to send them out into the world, prepared with the knowledge that they are special, and they are loved. I don’t know what I’ll do when they come home upset that a classmate called them this, or told them that. What else can you do but wrap your arms around them, and tell them that no matter what, you love them, and that it is ever important to remember that they are just a special as the other child—that no matter what, we can still love people even if we don’t agree with what they say. I guess you tell them that you are so blessed to have them in your life—which is so true, no matter how hard it may be some days.

            And what do you do when they don’t want to go back—into that world that sees them as another tiny person, incapable of feeling or emotion. I remember crying and screaming to not make me go back to kindergarten, but I also remember a bright-red lipstick kiss, on the top of my tiny hand. It was mom’s kiss, which I would get in the morning, and would last till I got home that afternoon. I’m one of the very blessed ones—I have always known that I’m loved. How do the children who don’t know that, survive this critical world? Mine won’t be among those.

            Sometimes I wish I could recall more of my time in that tiny world, but maybe it is good to forget some. I vividly remember my 1^st grade teacher saying one thing that has stayed with me ever since. I had forgotten my lunch at home, so I asked to call and have my mom bring it up. My teacher, with her blonde hair, and long red fingernails, looked at me and got a little closer to my face, then said those haunting words; “Your mother has your brothers at home—she doesn’t have time for you.” I believe that I bought lunch that day.

            I asked my mom about that moment a while back, and she told me how angry she was that that first grade teacher had had the audacity to say that. I would be horrified if anyone told one of my siblings that I didn’t have time for them—I can’t imagine someone saying that to your own child. Look at me: that happened over eleven years ago, and I remember it like it was yesterday.

            Back on the blacktop, the little girl then turned to me, as I reassured her that Sophia was in fact my sister. Her face lit up, “Oooh, So-PHI-a.” She then ran off—disappearing as undetected as she had arrived. I still just stood there though, waiting for my own mom—our mom—as she was talking to Sophie on the side of the court. I believe the whole reason we were there was to bring her something; maybe even a lunch. But I stood watching the two of them, and thinking how that used to be me, and mom used to bend over and look me in the eye just how she was talking to Sophie. I never felt like I was as small as I actually was. Now, I look down at my mom, and you begin to realize that your parents are human—trying to just do their best—and that they were once in your shoes.

            Mom walks over to me, and Sophie returns to her game—it was one of those precious moments that are ever so fleeting, but for an instance life seems crystal clear. I just watched her walk—a decade on her shoulders since I was in a tiny world like all of those children. She is still just as soft, and just as remarkable. When she calls my cell phone, it doesn’t say “mom” but “wonder woman.” Wonder Woman walked over to me, and together, we headed for the gate. Children would dart in front of us, other parents would walk in, but I just took the time to reflect on the fact that the chapter was closing. I had huge shoes to fill.

            Since that day, I’ve thought a lot about that question: Are you a mom? That is something I will probably ask myself from the day that is a reality, through forever. I have many chapters to open and enjoy before I get there, but the pages seem to turn faster as you grow older. With that, I begin to imagine how I want to read those chapters as well. College is at my front door—and my life is just beginning. I have so many opportunities and experience I can look forward to having. Life never unfolds how you think it will, but that is what makes it worth while.

            In a world where having a high paying job is more impressive, and children are being seen as a nuisance, I have no doubt that one day, most likely sooner than I can even comprehend, someone will ask me that same question: Are you a mom? And I look forward to the day—that chapter—when I will turn to them and say, “YES!”

 ~~~~~

With that said, I want to put it in writing right now, that being a mother, and being a woman are divine callings. It is demanding, it is hard, it is challenging, it is exhausting, it is stressful, it is discouraging, it is rewarding, it is exciting, it is beyond special, it is more important than you will even know, it is beautiful, it is sacred, and again, above all, it is divine. 

Thank you, Mom.

Tayler 

May-Day Mad Dash!!!

I have 8 minutes until the day is over, and I haven't posted in forever, so 100 little (and BIG) things that I am grateful for/love before the clock strikes 12!!! **Disclaimer:items are not in ranked order

1. My Savior
2. Family
3. Education
4. Sleep
5. Mr. Mendelsohn ( my cat ;) )
6. Photos
7. Postcards
8. the Temple
9. America
10. Piano
11. A voice
12. Music
13. Cooking
14. Cowboy boots
15. Swing dancing
16. mugs
17. hot chocolate
18. yoga
19. ice-cream
20. sunshine
21. The mountains
22. Cars
23. Relief Society
24. computers
25. the internet
26. hamocks
27. porch swings
28. farmers markets
29. letters
30. love letters :) 
31. poetry 
32. stars
33. picnic blankets
34. picnics
35. breakfast in bed
36. long pajama pants (story of my life!!) 
37. sun hats 
38. old dresses
39. long white gloves
40. good books
41. skype
42. lists
43. old travel trunks
44. good stories
45. childrens books
46. SUNSETS!!!
47. the Blog
48. AHHHHHHH!!!!! 30 seconds!!! Time is a good one
49. Snow
50. Home (Well, my time is up, but it put it as Friday, so I'll just keep it rolling :) 
51. Badminton--After the net is set up....
52. Being cozy by the fireplace
53. Journals
54. Striped Sweaters
55. Stripes in general..... :) 
56. Aprons
57. Cooking barefoot in the Kitchen
58.  St. Bernards
59. Long socks
60. Nail polish 
61. cell phones
62. mint, chives, oregano, thyme, and the rest of the herb garden
63. pumpkins. You can't forget pumpkins. :) 
64. Ukulele
65. Jars for ice-water in the summertime
66. Homemade Ice-cream
67. Vintage cars
68. Birthday wishes
69. pie (the real-deal)
70. Chicken-noodle soup
71. the Rain
72. Singing in #71
73. Crazy-little-thing called LOVE
74. Maybe I can say roadtrips
75. Crazy ideas
76. Sidewalk Chalk
77. My hipster glasses B-)
78. My Body ( I am so grateful that I can move, and see, and hear, and feel this thing called life.)
79. Inside jokes and accidentally playing telephone in the library
80. Big, little brothers and sisters
81. Teacups
82. Oh!! I almost forgot! Orange and Pink Poppies :) 
83. Daisies
84. Walking down memory lane
85. Trials.........yep, they help make us who we are.
86. Quotes
87. Flannel shirts. 
88. Smoothies
89. Space to get away and think. AKA: my spot
90. Good, old movies( + popcorn) 
91. Art (everything)
92. cozy winter beanies
93. my Big, Brown eyes 8-)
94. notes
95. Cultures, and places
96. Family Dinner
97. Hugs and Kisses
98. Quality Time with people
99. Big Dreams
100. All of my crazy ideas :) 

Whew!! Well, I am very tired and off to bed, but with a very grateful heart.

 Lots of Love, 

Tayler

A Sunset to Remember: Sitting with an Angel

Life has gotten so busy, with so many decisions to make, and sadly I've skipped blogging, but I honestly missed it. The evening itself was several weeks ago, but it has stayed close to my heart.

Sometimes I get the chance to spend an hour on Sundays at a home for people with mental challenges. Each resident varies in their abilities, personality, and story. Sadly you know very little about them at the end of the day, but for that hour the world stands still, your problems become unimportant, and you lose yourself being with these incredible people.
This time in particular, it was actually light out--with spring peeking from around the corner. If you read my blog--even if you only make it through the title--you should know that I absolutely love sunsets. They are very near and dear to my heart. And on this particular day, we had the chance to go outside, and waiting for us was a remarkable sunset. It was very simple, but stunning. Actually, it almost caught me by surprise, and in a way reminded me to take a minute and simply slow down and remember all of the simple pleasures and incredible blessings in my life.

I took one of the girls who cannot walk, or speak out on the patio with me. I pulled a chair up next to her wheelchair and together we sat for a few minutes just watching, as she held onto my hand. As we sat there, it struck me--I was sitting with an angel. There I was with so many mistakes and flaws, and lists of things I am trying to be, while she was perfect. It is incredible to attempt to comprehend how valiant she was, and how close she is to our Heavenly Father. It was humbling to say the least.
After taking it all in, we went back inside, and finished the hour spending time with everyone. Really though, I am so grateful that we are given those pockets of peace and insight--the quiet reminders to stop and remember.

Well, I'm going to keep it short--the semester isn't over quite yet :)
Still, Lots of love,
Tayler