Speed Bumps and Blessings

My goodness, it has been far too long! I have to say that a lot has happened since I last posted, but the best story took place last week. Let me preface it with the fact that I went home two weeks ago, so I guess this is a two-part tale. I'll start with the trip home. For me, that is where my family is, and that would be Montana--the Big Sky state.
        This was a trip unlike any other for many reasons: I wasn't planning on going home any time soon and then decided the night before to take a random trip, only my parents knew I was coming, and the last piece.......I had never actually driven it by myself before, and it was a good distance--not dreadful, but still a trip. The few weeks leading up to going home, I had some big decisions to make and had yet to make any of them final. After thinking about the trip that whole day, I decided that a long car ride combined with Montana air and family, was exactly what I needed. So, I got up the next morning, went and vacuumed out my car, (The owner, an older man in black rain boots, was power-spraying the car washes out, got a big smile on his face, and said good morning. I did the same--I love bumping into beautiful people :) )ran to the grocery store to grab a few snacks so I'd only have to stop for gas, threw a weekend's worth of clothes and necessities in a bag, grabbed my camera, ukulele, and cowboy boots, and with my windows down and music up, I hit the road! I could bore you with all the details of the trip, but I will sum it up with the highlights: I got a lot of thinking time in, I was definitely watched over on the way home, and I somehow managed to hit the biggest tumble weed I have ever seen in my life!! :) Really though, it was actually really funny. :)

Well, I made it by the evening, and surprised my siblings by randomly showing up at Safeway. My sister had yet to see me, so my brother had her go check out the aisle that I was hiding in. Her face was priceless when I ran up to her and wrapped my arms around her. It took her a second to process that it was me, but I've never seen her more excited!

The rest of the trip consisted of time well spent with family, and thinking.

 I did get to catch a sunset from my favorite spot, one of the nights I was home.

Family was amazing and wonderful, but even if I had driven that whole way to just go and sit on the fence (pictured above) and just stop to breathe and think, it would have been more than worth it. Peace is the greatest feeling in the world.
My last night at home the Soph-inator and I went puddle-jumping. I really should say swimming.

Really though, it was an amazing trip! I left with more insight and trust in the future--Heavenly Father has incredible things for all of us in this life, and as we progress on our divine paths. No father would provide those decisions, opportunities, experiences, and challenges, unless He truly loved us--all of which make us grow in ways we never could have imagined. 

So, I wrapped up my trip, threw my belongings in the car, and headed back to my temporary-reality of school. After rain, snow, rain, and more rain, I made it back in one piece and jumped back into the college life. 

Fast-Forward a week, I'm pulling up to my apartment after work, and I hit the curb (I've parked my car there a billion times, and for some reason I totally hit the curb.) My windows were down and I could hear all of the air rushing out of the tire. One of those moments......when you're not looking forward to the following moment.....  Two guys saw me do it, and walked over as I was getting out. The one actually worked at a tire shop, and offered to put my spare on for me--Blessing #1. The following day I went to the tire shop to get a new one because it had punctured a hole on the wall. I get there and all of the gentlemen there were exactly that--gentlemen: Blessing #2. I sat and waited as they put two new tires on because another was just worn out and needed to be replaced. After a few minutes one of the workers came in rolling one of my tires over to me and showed me how worn out part of it was.....and informed me that I shouldn't even drive on it. To make the story short, I now have 4 brand-new tires. But here is where Major-Blessing #3 comes in: I drove home and back with the old tires, and didn't have a single problem, and then I hit a curb, instead of blowing out a tire somewhere on the freeway. Somehow He makes up the difference when we are doing what we are supposed to, and following his counsel.

Well, I need to go to bed, but I am grateful for the opportunities and lessons we are shown and experience along the way.

Lots of Love, 

Tayler 

Crazy Girl

I don't know if it's a good thing that I laugh when I see this photo, but I can't help but chuckle when I see this--I needed something good to send home, and this is what I ended up with :) (I would call this--crazy girl)

Well, it has most certainly been a crazy week for this crazy girl. But you know what? It's a Friday night, and I can't complain.

The inspiration for this post comes from a two-hour conversation I had with this really incredible guy on campus. I apologize that it is simply a solid summary, but I was so very impressed that I didn't want to leave anything out. (Laugh  of the day--I now have a half sun-burned/maybe tanning face, because the sun was only beating down on the left side of me that whole time..... ) We had the most amazing, deep conversation I've ever had with someone I knew that little.(But now, know a lot more) Somehow we jumped around from what our families were like, their struggles/our struggles, the terrifying side of dating, and everything we want/the realities of being married people some day. We talked about how people think they get to ride into the sunset on their wedding day, and proudly proclaim that they will live happily ever after, but in reality, they are just beginning one of the most challenging, and testing, yet rewarding chapters of their life. But we then talked about how meeting and choosing your spouse is the most important thing you will ever do, because there will come a time when parents are gone, siblings aren't near, friends will be distant or slowly fade out, and even your kids will take off and make their own decisions, and all you will have is your eternal best friend if you have created that relationship. 

And still it continued.......We went on to talk about how we want to have creative family home evenings, and family scripture study, and a place where everyone is learning. At one point, he turned to me and asked, "if you could have any one thing in your house some day, and we'll assume you have the Book of Mormon, etc. :) what would it be?" My answer was a porch swing--for taking a minute to sit and take in the moment. I turned the answer around, and he got so animated as he talked about this amazing library he has definitely put a lot of thought into. It felt good to dream for a moment. 

We took turns trying to describe ourselves--if you ask him, I honestly never even got a good answer out. That is so much harder than you'd think. We continued to talk about how there are those few people we get the chance to meet in life, where you feel like you can be 100%, you, and somehow they just understand. Even more so, we talked about how your spouse truly is your anchor. I listened as he continued to the fact that even though he was going to school, and obtaining a degree to gain a steady, and good-paying job, at the end of the day it boils down to being able to support a family--not entertain, and spoil, but support. I then turned the conversation towards the idea of an MRS. degree, and how sadly, some women don't feel the need to finish their education. (there are definitely situations where this would possibly make sense, but very few)  I explained that as pessimistic as it may be, I am such a firm believer in gaining an education because as hard and torturous it would be to lose your spouse, or even divorce, life would have to continue, and there would need to be a way to provide for your family. Then next thing he said, blew me out of the water. he first completely agreed with me, then added that he felt a woman's education is possibly even more important that a man's because she is the one with the children all the time, and shaping them into what they will become. He added that both parents play a huge role, but at the end of the day, she will have an incredible impact. I loved what he continued with, "My wife will be smarted that me, but she won't even know it. Degrees and certificates don't mean a level of intelligence (I'm paraphrasing here) but she will have her own opinions and thoughts."

I have never thought of education in that light, and sat there a little bit shocked--he had just nailed it. 

And as incredible as all of this was, the part of the conversation that really left an impression on me started with us laughing about how we both used to be so confused about being told to "marry up" because logically, then someone would have to "marry down."  Really though, does that even make sense?! But then is was quiet for a minute, and he said that he will wonder again and again how he ended up with his wife, because she will be more than he felt he could ever deserve. My response was that she will wake up every morning, and go to bed every night, wondering how she could be so blessed, and so grateful that you he found her. 

After two hours of talking, it is hard to recall where within the conversation this came up, but we were talking about how when life would be hard, but you just look at your spouse, tell them you love them, and say that you know what--tomorrow is a new day. he then asked, "You keep up with country, right?" Mind you, I was actually wearing my boots at the moment :) "You know the song, 'Crazy Girl?'"  I had to smile, because i was very familiar with the song, and in all honesty, that is exactly what you want--that person that loves you no matter what, no matter how crazy you are, nor how crazy life gets. 

So, when I sat down tonight to write, I put on Pandora, and "Crazy Girl" came on. I had to smile and figured my topic couldn't be any clearer. 

For your enjoyment, here is the song: 

But before I leave tonight, I have to say that I can't wait to someday find my Crazy Guy, for this Crazy Girl. That's why you hold onto who you are, and learn to laugh, and learn to trust in Heavenly Father's timing, and Heavenly Father's plan. 

Well, goodnight, and lots of love, 

Tayler 

There is Sunshine in My Soul!

I know I'm a broken record when I say this, but it truly has been far too long since I have sat down and blogged.
I can't even describe how beautiful it was outside, and I believe the highlight of my entire day was probably sitting in the sun and reading between my morning classes. I really wish is wouldn't be so obnoxious to lug my camera around with me everyday--you miss so many amazing photo opportunities!

Though I was up pretty late, I was spoiled to have family friends who had been visiting back home, drop off oatmeal cookies and bread-sticks straight from my own (mom's!!) kitchen--there's no taste like home!

Tonight though, I really want to just count my blessings--a friend lent me a book called the Continuous Conversion, which is exactly what I found myself reading in the sunshine today, and right now the book keeps coming back to the concept of perspective. Then I had a psychology class this morning that addressed the same concept in a different light. I am constantly amazed at how simply beutiful this life is, and the over-powering love our Savior has for us. The book I mentioned addressed how we "learn, not earn, heaven." How true is that?! It isn't a matter of hanging on until we finally make it, then letting go of that lifestyle. This life is designed to help us reach and become like heaven. With this concept, the crude words or humor, or the questionable song or movie, don't even have a place. As sons and daughters of God, our spirits are far too precious to allow those things to fill any of our time; take a piece of your life.

Of course we sometimes wonder what things would look like if we had worked harder, or taken a different road. I feel like we often doubt our own abilities as well. Today, while I had the chance to stop and read before heading home, I heard singing--vocal point was doing an improv concert on campus. It was wonderful to hear them in the distance, but in all honesty, it brought back an entire part of my life that I have dismissed for the last six months, and all of the hopes and dreams that I had originally brought with me to BYU. I had planned on being in choirs, and working my way up to being in Noteworthy, but life got in the way of life, and plans changed, and priorities shifted. I called my mom as I headed home, and the gist of what I poured into her ear was that the last six months had been nothing like I thought it would be. I finished talking to my mom, and headed home.
Note: On the way, there was a section of the path covered in red, rose-petals. (someone probably got engaged last night.....) It's crazy, because those petals were originally roses, and if they could talk, would have told you they would much rather have been on a dinning table, in a vase. But there they were, scattered over the landing--after having the chance to be part of something much bigger, and far more important.
I guess....well, I know.......that is why you trust. He has a plan far greater than you, and a vision far truer than we are able to see.

So, as the title of this post says, "there is sunshine in my soul!" 

Yes, I am so grateful to be me--as imperfect as I am. In a world where we are constantly told we are not the right shape or size, too plain, too boring, not strong enough, not talented enough--a world that has lost its sense of true humor, its ability to see the blessings we are surrounded with, the experiences that make us truly rich(that fill our hearts), the value or a person, and the love our Heavenly Father has for each and every one of us--I am determined to be happy!

So what if I am not perfect today, or tomorrow, or even years down the road--I am becoming everything I can be, and the person I want to be.
 And in my opinion,
that is a beautiful thing.

Lots of love, I believe in you!
Tayler

When Life Gives You Apples.......Make French Toast.

They say that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade..........

What the saying should say, is:
 when life finds you at two in the morning with apples that are going to go bad soon, and you're craving french toast for breakfast the next morning, but you realize you don't have butter or syrup......
                            Discover and create the best french toast you have ever had in your entire life! Really though, I thought I had had french toast until this morning. :)

In all seriousness, how I got to this was just as a mentioned above--I really wanted to make french toast this morning, so last night I was sitting there wondering what on earth I could put with it because I didn't have any butter or syrup on hand. Add the fact that I had four apples that were about to go bad, and I ended up with the equivalent to apple-pie french toast. I do have half a mind to call it Tayler Toast.....how convenient my name starts with a "t." ;)  (When I made it, I just threw a ton of stuff together, and improved it, but I have included my "recipe" at the bottom of the post.)

Anyways, I was pretty excited as you can probably tell--it's awesome when something looks like a problem (i.e. no butter or syrup) but in reality it is an opportunity to learn, grow, and discover.
Now that, is where this whole "Tayler Toast" tangent is going,

Life is a lot of times like a recipe: if you take out vital parts, it won't work. If you don't give it the correct amount of time, it can get messy, fast. If you aren't prepared before you begin, then you will run into issues later on. Like life, there are sequential steps or chapter, pieces or ingredients, and many opportunities to succeed and fail.

I find myself trying to write my own recipe sometimes though--what I want to do, and when. I'm talking big-picture things: School, job, mission, marriage, family, etc. I don't forget, but I don't really remember 100% of the time, that heavenly Father envisions and knows the end result, and knows my potential. More importantly, He knows how to get me there, and leads me along the path that exposes me to the opportunities and often trials, that have the potential to help me reach my goal; to be like Christ. Back to the french toast analogy, it is kind of like how I sat there at two in the morning, wondering why I would even make french toast in the morning if I didn't have anything to top it with. But if I had had syrup or butter or jam conveniently in the pantry or fridge, then I would have never figured out how amazing Apples were on french toast. French toast is far different than our eternal plans, but the basics are parallel in the sense that:

A) It may not make sense now, and it sounds crazy, but it is more incredible than you could ever imagine.
and....
B) Problems are often opportunities to explore who you really are, and what you can do/become. You could go down a road you never would have otherwise.

Anyways, I know that I often need to be reminded that "everything is for my good" or "experience."
That most certainly doesn't mean it isn't hard or it makes complete sense to us now, but looking back, look out at that sunset, we often get to see a glimpse of the plan He has always had prepared for us.

Well, have an amazing week, and a wonderful Sunday evening.
Love,
Tayler


_________________________________________________________________

Tayler Toast :) 

Apples: In a crock-pot

8  apples cored and sliced (I left mine with peels on) 
4+  Tbs. Cinnamon
2    tsp. Ginger
1    tsp. Cloves
3/4    c. Water
4    Tbs. Brown Sugar (optional, depending on personal taste)

Throw apples, and spices in crock pot, pour water over and cook on low for 3+ hours. I left them in for about 6, and they melted in your mouth, but I would probably go shorter.

DON"T THROW OUT SPICED APPLE JUICE WHEN DONE COOKING!!!

French Toast: Aprox. 10 pieces

Loaf of Bread
8 eggs (if you want more of a custard texture, stick with egg yolks, and add milk)
1 Tbs. Vanilla
1 c. Vanilla Almond milk (good old milk is just as good/ maybe better)
1/2 Tbs. Cinnamon
1 tsp. Cloves
2 tsp. Ginger

Mix it all up, dip the bread in, and throw on the skillet. After just cooked, layer bead, then apples, then bread. Top with more apples, and about 2 Tbs. of juice from the crock-pot. 

In reality, you could add whipped cream or even vanilla ice-cream, easily. Enjoy!!

My Day: French Toast and the Temple. That's a Wrap, People!!

So....though I did have classes and I was running around like crazy, it was a pretty good day. I seriously bumped into everyone-under-the-sun from my old apartment. I can't even believe it's been almost a month and a half--some days I can believe that it really HAS been that long, (and some) but on a general scale, time is moving pretty quickly. 

I have to say though, that the best part of my day was first going to the temple. I'm back on my weekly track, and life is so much better. Truly, just those few moments impact your entire life. I walked up to the doors, and the big pool's fountain was shut off so you could see a crystal-clear reflection of the temple and the sun lighting up the glass, in the fountain. Then as I got closer I saw that crazy girl, in the doors, and I have to smile, because this is where she belongs, and the reason she does everything she does--to be worthy to return to her Heavenly Father someday. 

I had an interesting thought this trip to the temple. Being at BYU, and young......and more importantly, single, I obviously wonder every blue moon, when I'll meet my man--my best friend.  (Please note, that I am in no rush, and I am leaving the timing to Him who knows all) Really though, I have learned to not sit and try to profile every guy walking down the street, but to just keep going the direction I need to go, meet people, and some day, there will be someone going the same direction. But this is the amazing part--the closer I grow to my Heavenly Father and Savior, the closer I am to my husband; even though I have no idea what makes him laugh, or his favorite food, or the sound of his voice, or what he even looks like, or how it feels to say his name! It's because when you're searching for someone who is close to Christ, and you too, are close to the Savior, then as people spiritually in tune, you'll both be guided by the Spirit when the time comes. That doesn't mean just sit on the front steps of the temple, and wait--you have to figure out who you are and the entirety of the definition of you with the help of Heavenly Father. Will we reach that level of perfection within a year--most definitely not. In a lifetime? Well, that is what we strive for. :) 

It never ceases to amaze me how as soon as I put one more thing in His hands and say that I am A) Ok to trust that it will work out, and B)  willing to work and do whatever necessary to come closer to my Savior, then it is an understatement to say that the "windows of heaven are opened."  As soon as I reach that point, I rediscover that the Lord was simply waiting for me to be ready, but knew that I had to make that decision, whether it was discouragement, disappointment, a dream, or forgiving myself. He was simply waiting for me. 

Well, I need to say goodnight. I have one of those days that is almost booked to the minute, and I'm not quite at 100% yet. But before I leave, let me leave you with the latest addition to the definition of me--maybe my latest and greatest discovery. ;) 

I write love letters. Now before anyone goes, "HEY!! HOLD THE PHONE!!" let me explain. First off, I love letters and mail, and surprisingly, I've never done the whole missionary writing thing, or had long time pen palls, but still I (the magic of a mailbox is a post coming soon : ) ) enjoy how letters are like pieces of their sender, that you can read over and over again, and always look back on. So, I was in the bookstore and found these postcards. Needless to say, I now enjoy my detour in the morning, to the mailbox. (But only family gets a lipstick kiss.... : ) Truly, it is the best part of my day. getting up, writing a note to someone, and sending it off, knowing they have no idea it is coming. It's so simple, but I just love it! 

Well, anyways, I REALLY need to go to bed now, but for those who read my blog, thank you. :) 

Lots of love, 

Tayler 

"These Aren't Beets, Are They?" and the many other things that made today ok :)

So, the short version of my day would be that I spent most of it home, sick. I had the sore throat and chills going on all night, and then today, my bones have just hurt, and my back has decided that is is just out to ruin my day......but let me reassure you that it didn't. :) I successfully "got ready" this morning, which going with today's definition meant sweats, hair in a bun, and glasses--which reminds me: I had a girl ask me today if they were real :) .

When I got up this morning I was crossing my fingers that I had slept most of it off, but to my dismay that hadn't happened so I essentially began preparing for war on whatever I have. I was going to make my mom's chicken noodle soup, but then I thought about how I have so many neglected cookbooks on my book shelf, and thought I would go for an adventure--you have to do something even if you aren't feeling that great. So, I found a recipe, made my grocery list, and headed to the store. I am one of those people who actually really enjoys grocery shopping, and believes every romantic comedy should start in the produce section. ;) (maybe not all.......but some. )

So besides the fact that I didn't feel good, it was good to get out, and a rather pleasant trip to the grocery store. I grabbed lemons for hot lemon and honey, tea that I've been downing by the hour, ginger(which happened to be on sale, another little blessing) to soak in to try to get the toxins out of my system, and everything to make a crock-pot style chicken noodle soup. I wasn't kidding when I said that I am declaring war on whatever this is. Finally, I got to the register, and my day was made. First, the cashier was a super tall and thin college guy with an extremely deep voice--just a very cool and collected guy. I beat him to asking me about my day, by asking how his had been, and then he proceeded to scan all my groceries, until he got to the last item, put in on the scale, paused for a moment, puzzled, and said, "these aren't beets, are they?" I tried not to chuckle, and said "no, I am pretty sure they're turnips." The poor guy looked all over his cheat-sheet to find the code, as I continued to say that people probably didn't come and buy turnips very often. He finally found it, and soon I was off and on my way. I got to the car and actually laughed, because the combination of his voice, and the sincerity of having to ask what it was, was priceless--Really though, who cares if you can tell a turnip from a beet. I am honestly grateful that there are moments like that--as simple as that--that can be so entertaining. I'm grateful for the ability to laugh; There is nothing better than letting go of your worries for a moment, and laughing. :) (like when a girl asked me today if my glasses were actually real. ;)

As I've got the crock-pot going, and a mug of tea, I would have to say that the other little(or more so, very big) tender mercies of my day included going into work to just pick up my check, (the shop happened to be completely empty) but ending up talking with one of my coworkers for over an hour about life--it feels so good to truly talk about anything and everything with someone you can relate to. I happened to get a close parking spot which is divine intervention, and though my back isn't doing so hot, someone came up with the idea of a rice bag/snake, and it has made a world of difference today.

Well, tomorrow marks the middle of the week, and I have decided that no matter what, every day is important, even if all we have are our tiny victories. Lots of Love,
Tayler

Emotional Scars

I am not going to sit here tonight and pretend that my life is perfect. Like the rest of the planet I am here with a mission, and curve balls are often in the forecast. I've thought a lot about trials lately--I don't mean dwelling on them because that gets you nowhere. But I've thought about healing and moving on at different times in our lives. We had the BYU devotional last week which was absolutely amazing, and that talked about everything that has been going through my head. You can listen to it below:

http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=2162

What I was really thinking about was my last semester--I know I've hinted that I had "roommate issues" and a rough semester, but as some of you know, it took me to my ultimate limits. People would ask me, how college was--they expected me to say that I was having the time of my life, and I ended up just resorting to saying that it was "crazy." 

This, is the real story of my 1st semester in college:

What truly happened was I moved out to Utah to start my new chapter. I was living off-campus so I would be sure to have a kitchen. The girl I roomed with seemed sweet and I was so excited that I had a nice roommate. Soon I had a Japanese roommate join the apartment, along with an engaged girl. Things seemed great, and school was really starting to roll. I soon learned that my roommate had emotional mental challenges, but I had dealt with a similar friend quite often at home, and was willing to just keep an eye on everything. 

Things were fine, until I came home one night to find her on her bed, silent, and shaking. After trying to get something out of her for a while, she finally confided in my that someone had physically taken advantage of her. I was supposed to take three tests the following day, but stayed up most of the night with her after calling the help line, and being willing to listen or talk. That in itself was a lot to take in. 

After having to meet with professors and reschedule exams, a few days passed and I soon learned that there was a high possibility that the entire incident was fake. 

I can't even tell you the frustration and anger that came with it. It simply grew as each day there would be more evidence that it had occurred, followed by evidence that it hadn't. Because of my personality though, my heart broke for her, and I really believed that it had happened. After a good two weeks of this constant changing which included fabricated text messages saying that that guy wanted to come to the apartment, I hit rock bottom. Every time I would turn around, something would take what I thought had happened/was happening, and turn it up-side-down. I honestly was about to crack. I found myself sleeping on my couch for almost an entire day, so depressed that I couldn't even get myself to classes. That night I just sat on the couch and cried. I hadn't cried over the last few weeks and it finally all came crashing down.  I didn't know what to believe, and was half convinced that the guy--really scary guy--was going to show up on my front doorstep. After I had been just sitting for a while, that roommate came and sat next to me, then said, "I'm sorry I've made you so upset." But she didn't just say it, she LAUGHED while she said it. That's when I was truly scared. 

I started camping on a friend's couch, and spent the next two weeks as various apartments. I would sleep there, then run to the old apartment to get ready and grab clothes. Everything I owned I had to stash at a friend's house or in my car, and left only clothes there. Usually I brought someone with me if I ever had to go back, because something had changed in the apartment, and something wasn't right. On one occasion, I had to grab my contact case and pajamas. As soon as I opened the door, I felt the most distinct and strong impression to GET OUT NOW. I literally ran and grabbed my stuff and ran out the door and to my friend's apartment. Darkness is a real thing, and the Holy Ghost will always warn you of it.

After two weeks of this, and filling more and more paperwork, I found myself sitting on the folding counter in the laundry room, crying on the phone with my mom. I literally felt like I was losing my mind. Because the apartment complex had yet to do anything, my Mom came down the next day and within a few hours I was packed and moved to another apartment within the complex. After moving everything, my mom made the call that I should probably go home for a few days. I had no idea how bad I was doing until I went home. It took me the first four days to even have any desire to get up in the morning, and I was numb for most of the 11-day trip. I didn't tell anyone I was coming home, and if I bumped into them, I didn't tell them why I was actually home. I felt like a freak and a wimp for having to come home--that I wasn't emotionally strong enough to have just dealt with it and moved on--but looking back now, I needed to go home. 

I later found out that she had done this seven other times to seven other girls who fell for it all--she picked us because we cared about her, and knew that we would be ones who would be there emotionally--that is the sickest part. 

I wish I could say that I have totally moved on, but a few days ago I sat thinking about how hard it has been the last few months to trust people, and to really reach out to others. I have never had a problem with the latter--in fact that is one of my greatest joys in life, but something had changed. I finally put the pieces together and realized that I have never been quite the same since everything went down last semester. (along with my grades which qualified me to be on the warning list at BYU.) 

 But why am I telling you this?! You don't need to know my personal trials!
I'm posting this tonight because I want to acknowledge the true trials we all face, and the aftermath that is often harder to overcome than the trial itself. Some may look at my experience and think that I had it easy, and they have an even crazier roommate story--I am sure that could be the case, but for me this was torture, and I am still dealing with the effects of that time in my life--grade-wise, financially, and most importantly, emotionally. What I want to ask is that we recognize one another's trials for what they are, and even though we may not be able to get ourselves through on our own, the Savior makes all things possible. It may not be easy to move forward--I'm truly still in that process--but through the atonement, there is a way.
I hope that your day is bright, and remember that if it's dark at this moment, there will come a time, when your days will be just as bright as they are dark now.
Love Always,

Tayler

A Very Freshman Friday

I thought you could all use a good laugh this morning. Well, you may not find it funny, but my cousin and I were laughing ridiculously hard looking back last night. Allow me to take you back to the horrors of a first-semester freshman's life. (I had completely forgotten about this until my cousin brought it up last night. :) ) So, my cousin had just graduated that last semester and therefore wasn't taking any classes. But, on that first or second week of my college experience, she happened to be on campus to have lunch with someone--or something like that.

Now let's bounce over to me. Oh, I have to laugh as I type because there is probably a reason I forgot about this.....
But there I was, the first or second week of school, being a good student, sitting in DUH, DUH, DUH, DUUUUUMMMM!!!! American Heritage. Enough said. It's one thing to endure a lecture, but after sitting there for a good 15 minutes, it began to go down hill fast. It started with my jaw-line itching. Super weird, and super random, but it was more of a tingling, numbing, kind of itch. I thought to myself that that was pretty odd, especially because one side of my face was worse than the other. But I continued to sit there. Over the next five minutes, it went from tingling, and itching on just my jaw line, to burning, tingling, and hot as it crept all the way up to my scalp. Literally, my skin felt like it was on fire. I ran my hand across my face and my entire face was textured with massive bumps. As you can image, I was at this point a bit freaked out, so I made the call to walk out of the lecture and head to a bathroom expecting to find hives from Mars covering my entire head. After taking one look in the mirror, I was blown away to see.....nothing.
I had no clue how my skin could be so hot, burning so bad, and so bumpy, yet you couldn't even see anything. That's when my lovely cousin happens to be walking into the Wilk, while I am headed out. Believe me, it was divine intervention.

This is where the story gets funny though, and this was the part that I didn't even remember.
As you can imagine, I was a bit freaked out, and extremely uncomfortable--really though, my skin was on fire!!! So my cousin informed me last night that she saw me that day, and after she was like "Tayler!! How are you!!!" I guess the first thing that came out of my mouth, was...."my scalp is on fire." No emotion, just "my scalp is on fire." (This is where she and I were laughing ridiculously hard last night, because I don't really know if I could have come up with any other response possibly more awkward, random, and down right weird!) So my dear cousin then convinces me to let her drive me to wallgreens to pick up benedryl, and then home so I could jump in the shower.
Needless to say, after two showers and a good amount of benedryl it barely settled down, and I have lovely pictures from the next three days that it took for it to quit freaking out. After tons of oatmeal masks and scrubs, it was finally gone after a few weeks. Talk about a freshman's worst nightmare. Well, hopefully you maybe got at least a chuckle out of it, but either way, I am so greatful to be where I am now, and where my life is--though the stories are often entertaining down the road. :)

Have a wonderful Friday, and we'll talk to you this weekend! :)
Love, Tayler

P. S. Before I leave, here is the quote of the day!

I'm DONE WAITING. Life is for LIVING!

Hey! So how has your January been so far? Can you even believe it is already 2014??
So, the inspiration behind this post came from being up late, writing in my journal, and looking back at old entries. I have to admit that there are times when I am awesome at writing......and then there are the other times. But, what I was looking at was how much space I had taken up in my journal in a year. It was definitely wild to think that if I wrote the same amount this year. That page, right there, would hold everything I was up to exactly a year form now. Maybe questions would have answers and there would be even more questions to be answered. And when I started thinking about it in pages--because truly, it is my story--I thought about how life is all just a matter of time. Then I thought about all of the times I told myself, "Just got to make it to the weekend" but the weekend soon comes and goes. Or "only 4 more months and the braces come off, and won't look like I'm ten" (I still look pretty young.....and the braces are long gone. :)  ) Or even "just have to graduate high school." Well that has come and gone.....and you better believe that I was one happy girl when I turned that page, but still, life is crazy as ever, and it feels like high school never even happened!

My point is that I have found that I often tell myself I have to just make it to the next mark. But as I was looking through my journal I couldn't help but think about all of the people who have told me they wish they were back in college, in my shoes. And then I thought, "you know what? I'm done wishing my life away." I don't mean that I've missed out per say, but when you (keep in mind I am a planner by nature) are constantly looking to the future to the point that only your physical body is living in the present, I'm afraid that one day, you will realize--I would realize--that I barely even experienced my own life. I find myself around so many people who are waiting. I don't mean that they're wasting their lives away, but still they're either waiting to get out of school, waiting for that missionary to come home, or waiting to meet they're eternal spouse. I have found myself in that category--waiting for the next mark--far too many times. Points come and go, and I have found that when I am too focused on the end result, (which often just comes and goes, I miss the entire journey.

So! This is my latest and greatest project, and anyone and everyone is welcome to participate. It is a personal project, but I would love to hear all about your version, if you so choose to accept it! ;) 

First let me ask, what can you do in a year? Well, um......you could pull off quite a bit in a year....
MY POINT EXACTLY!! So instead of "getting through" the next year or six months or two weeks--wherever your next benchmark is, for me, I'm using a year--I am going to instead fill it full of incredible things and see how amazing I can make the next year. I'm sure a few of you are thinking, well, isn't this pretty much new years resolutions?? Similar, but not exactly. Often new years resolutions involve sticking with something for a specific amount of time--which potentially brings us back to the waiting game.

Let me give you some examples:
1. I love yoga. I'm not setting a goal to do it every morning for the next year, but rather am going to do it as often as I can just because I love it.
2. I would like to get in shape, and learn to enjoy running. I'm not setting a goal to run a marathon in two years, or even a mile in a certain amount of time. Instead I'm curious as to how much I could accomplish in the next year.
3. I can cook pretty well now, but I have only scratched the surface. Over the next year I want to thoroughly explore my extensive cook book collection, and enjoy time in the kitchen with friends and family.

Does that kind of make sense? No time commitments, no set plans, but the challenge of what you could do within a year.
**Personal Note:
On a more spiritual note, I want to be that much better of a person in a year from now as well. So, I bought a calendar and for the next year (so on each and every day) I am going to try to do something Christ would do(some kind of service, etc.), and write it on that day's square.

It is most definitely a person goal/challenge/experience, but no matter what, I would love for you to just see what you can accomplish--anything and everything--in the next year, please share below in the comments! The more the merrier! :) I think we can all use more doing and less waiting for our chapters to turn.

As always, love ya'

Tayler

God Gave Me You and Chocolate-Covered Pretzels

So I overheard this conversation today as I was walking to class, that really got me thinking. It went something like this:
Girl: (Holding hands with her boyfriend, talking to him) all I have left today is to go to my TA lab. I really don't like going though, because they just tell me everything that I'm doing wrong.
Guy: That's why God gave me you--to tell you everything that you are doing right. Like today, you got up early, you exercised, and you've gone to all of your classes. 

I didn't catch much more of it--they had been walking right behind me but then turned and headed the other direction. That phrase though, "God gave me you," really stuck with me. I mean, yes it is a song that I know and love, but it was interesting to think about that concept; God's hands are in our lives.

In regards to having that person, and all of the other aspects, I truly believe that He does have a hand in our lives, but that isn't what I want to cover tonight. Actually, I want to talk about the second part of his comment: Everything she did "right."

Because I am me, it is definitely a good day if I get up early, go to all of my classes, and exercise at some point during the day. For some though, they would think that those tasks are no sort of accomplishment. This is where the chocolate-covered pretzels come in.

Those two complimented each other. I don't mean that they told one another millions of things they loved about the other, or showered them in compliments, but their perspectives complimented one another.
Just like Pretzels and white-chocolate. I know that seems like a really funny way of looking at it, but this is for every person out there who wonders why they haven't found that person yet, and find themselves single as can be.
First off, think of a pretzel, and everything that goes into it. You've got flour, salt, yeast, and many more components that are turned into a dough, then shaped, boiled, baked, and finally, salted. It all didn't happen in a single moment, nor was it a simple process. They had to be shaped and put through different processes in order to become the pretzel that would go deliciously with white chocolate. What if I said you have a lot in common with that single (no pun intended) pretzel. You are made up of many different things--personality, family, interests, perspectives--and have been through many life experiences--ups, downs, trials, and paths we could never even imagine--just like the pretzels are boiled and baked until they are crisp and salty.

But isn't it interesting how they are an amazing snack all on their own? Well, just like those pretzels, you are amazing all on your own, and have been shaped into who you are today.
I know what you're thinking though: I thought you said white-chocolate pretzels?
You are exactly right. The chocolate is that special person that compliments you just the way you are. It doesn't mean you weren't incredible on your own, but just like after the pretzels are completely done and ready to be dipped in chocolate, the chocolate just makes them that much better.
Even though you've now put them together there is still a difference between the two, yet they compliment one another. They aren't exactly the same, but that is what makes them work together so beautifully.

So, as cheesy as it is, what I want to say is as follows:
1. Just like those pretzels, we are shaped into who we are today, and who we want to ultimately become. 

2. We can stand alone and we must become our own person first. ( Just like the chocolate has to be prepared as well :) ) 

3. When it is right, it is right. Just like the chocolate and pretzels are two completely different components, so are you and your spouse, but your differences are what make you even that much more incredible, together. It's the sweet and salty. :) 

As silly as this little analogy may seem, I firmly do believe that Heavenly Father prepares us for what lies ahead, and when the time is right, will cross our path with that special person's. Before I get to studying, let me leave you with two quotes:

A dear friend e- mailed this to me after a visit back home:

"The prophets have stressed many times that marriage is an appropriate and universal goal.  But it has been my observation that the best marriages, the best engagements, are not the results of directly seeking after marriage.  The best marriages seem to be a by-product of pursuing many different kinds of worthy goals.  In other words, a young woman at Brigham Young University or anywhere else who devotes her full attentions and energies to finding a husband may well find one, but this perhaps will not be the best kind of match.  The best marriage will be the one that comes when the young woman is not so much concerned with finding the right one as with being the right one."  

Wise advice from Sr. Davidson

And finally, remember that He has a plan for you, and is waiting for you to trust him. It may not be easy, but it will bring you the greatest peace, and keep you for wishing your life away.

Love you all, and I will talk to you soon!

P.S. A note to my other half: wherever you are, and whatever you're doing, I can't wait for the many adventure we will have together. Wishing you the best!

Tayler