Reflections

It feels like I haven't blogged in forever--quite frankly I haven't done something other than studying in quite a while. To sum up my life right now, yesterday, I found myself in Walmart, grabbing a case of water bottles, laundry detergent and a few other things I can't recall at the moment. (Note: Even though I am in college, I am still in the mindset that I have a whole family at home, so I grabbed the same brand, largest size and just threw it in the shopping cart. Note to self, I no longer shop with my mother for a whole family, and it will take a year to go through my laundry detergent!) Anyways, I found myself in Walmart, grabbing a few things off the shelves, while on the phone with my dad, a class starting in 45 minutes, and I was making dinner plans for Thursday, not realizing it was tomorrow. Right now the days are more like a never-ending day--I live at the library, and am determined to survive the semester.

Survive I shall, but not without the help of my heavenly Father.

Today I took an exam, then finished a paper just to run it to a lab with three minutes to spare. After the lab, it was my time to go to the temple. I have to confess I tried on half of my closet before I went out the door and to the temple.

I get chills every time I drive up the hill and through the front gate of the temple grounds. After I park, I usually go through the parking lot, then take the path under the front tunnel-like entry way. Instead, today I went straight to the base of the hill, and walked straight up to the temple, taking all of the stairs, and passing the fountains. So, when I reached the doors, I saw this girl. She was tall, and strong, and glowing--ready to be in the Lord's house. You could tell that she knew she was a daughter of God. She looked like she belonged there. She was all grown up. I want to say that I saw her how our heavenly Father sees her, and that moment took my breathe away. When we looked at each other, a huge smile appeared on both our faces, and maybe even a tear in our eyes. I could see it--I truly am a daughter of the King.

It shouldn't have, but my reflection caught me by surprise. It was like I didn't recognize myself at first, but my image in the glass doors of the temple opened my eyes to the fact that I truly am His, and I am home.

What was even more shocking was that I saw things in this reflection that I've never been able to see before. I was beautiful--I'm not referring to the world"s perspective and opinions--I was happy, and worthy, and like all of His children, divine.

After standing there a moment, I could picture someone--my best friend and future companion--standing next to me--equally worthy, happy, and divine. I couldn't picture his face because I don't know what he looks like. I couldn't hear his voice, because to my knowledge I haven't heard it. And I could not call him by name, because that is something I have yet to discover as well. I knew though, that someday he would be standing right there; together we would take part in this great work, starting with being sealed for time and all eternity. Yet at the same time, I knew that even though he wasn't there at that moment, he was somewhere being a part of this great gospel.
The doors opened and I spent the next hour enjoying the peace only found within the walls of the temple.

The temple truly is His house, and a refuge from the worries of mortal life, but when you see your own reflection, whether or not it is in the doors of the temple, let yourself see what He sees in you. You are created in His image, and you are divine. Please don't forget that.

School may be just about nuts, sleep may have reached the point when your roommate's almost-boyfriend tells you it isn't ok and that you need a lot more, and the cold-sores may have finally showed up, but life is good. I have found that no matter how many questions you missed on an exam, how late you were for class, how many grumpy people are in your life, and no matter how dark life may seem, there is always a bright sunset at the end of the day, and a beautiful sunrise just around the corner.

Lots of Love,

Tayler